hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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