The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
