Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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