Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
