Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
