Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
