She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
