if i can run in heels then i can drive
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
