dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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