i don't like sucking hair
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
