my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
