She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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