Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There's even glitter on my cock...
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