I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize