His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
