party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize