What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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