Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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