I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
try to milk me bitch
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
