Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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