that's an acceptable place to lick
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
