But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
