Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
