dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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