It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
