We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
