My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
