Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so let's talk penis.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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