I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
