bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
