I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
