I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
