Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wear drunk well.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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