I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
