Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize