fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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