Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
