he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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