Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
