people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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