I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You are a genius and a whore.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize