coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
