She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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