thus making me awesome and them whores
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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