Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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