Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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