Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
