my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
