Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
