I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
