hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
false alarm, still single
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize