Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
