Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
