I think im going to throw up on grandma
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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