My friends, they love my intelligence
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I want to have your abortion
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize